Urinating, Traffic and Stress
by I.Wish.I.had.Swagger
Summary: A Booth and Brennan twist on my favouite part of the movie 'Two weeks notice'. Brennan needs to go but they are stuck in traffic, what will her FBeye candy do to help. NO SPOLIERS. B/B ONESHOT


**Hi, a first for me, I hope to god you like it :).... I realise that I may have used a few English sayings and names for things and I apologise in advance i would learn amricanisms but im studying for my English and English Lit and the last thing i need is my english teacher ripping me for not using 'proper english' . **

**Inspired after watching '2 weeks notice' with my mum. There are always situations in chick flicks i imagine booth and brennan in **

**Anyway set after season 3, I would love constructive critisism or just thumbs up Im not fussy, I am so sorry if there are Gramma or punctuality problems i used spell check and proof read it twice but Im dyslexic so i bound to mess up somehow, extreemly sorry xxx**

**Disclaimer-I do not own bones, or 2 weeks notice. But i do own a obese cat called poppy :) she got stuck in the cat flap ahahaha**

* * *

She fidgeted in her seat. 'I should have gone before we left' she said to herself, crossing her legs tightly and taking deep breaths hoping to focus on something else. Sat next to her was an extremely frustrated Booth. They were in traffic, colossal traffic. It was so far behind them that the sea of cars seemed to reach back over the horizon of the slow sunlight. Booth and Brennan had been sent by Cullen to help an outstanding case that needed their expertise in Charlotte Field. But as soon as they got there they were sent back to DC with the information that the Suspect had turned himself in. Leaving a peed booth and a very fidgety Brennan stuck in traffic.

Her bladder was weighing heavy and she felt herself start a silly dance, yet she didn't want to make a fuss. Booth was in a bad enough mood as it was, with the fight over Rebecca wanting to change Parkers name to fit hers when she gets married to Brett lingering over him, Charlotte Field messing them about and the haul of Traffic that was seemed was going take them until ten o'clock to get home. Brennan didn't know much about reading people but his occasional grunts and aspirated sighs, not to mention his white fists from almost crushing the steering wheel indicated a very stressed partner to her left. She decided whining about her bladder would only fuel him into a vicious rage so she kept quite.

Booth looked out two the sea of cars mentally cursing every one of them. He was peed, so, so very peed. Parker, Rebecca, Brett, Charlotte Field, Cullen, bones and her silly dance…. What was she doing? He turned to see her with her legs crossed tightly, her arms folded and her bopping up and down clenching her teeth as though she was in agony. "Bones?" he asked quizzically.

She turned to see his confused face and choose to try and distract him with a positive attitude "Booth I'm hundred percent positive the Traffic will clear. I am only a hundred percent sure as that is the full amount" she gave him a meek smile as her bladder clenched while she bopped.

"Thanks for that bones, but umm… what is with the jig" he looked her up and down "you look like you need to… oh"

"Oh, what? I don't understand" se frowned trying to stop her 'jig' as he called it.

"Do you need to you know, go bones" he whispered in the empty car

"If by 'go' you mean urinate then yes" she said in a perfectly audible tone

"Do you really have to use that word?"

"Yes, it's the technical term" she wheezed through the pain

"Jeez bones how long have you needed to go?"

"I've had the urge to urinate for a little over three hours"

"What?!" he scolded her with a caring voice "Bones that's unhealthy, you know that"

"So is stress levels Booth" she cut him in, defensive, Brennan was thinking off him this whole time.

"Well that's just irrational" he said trying not to thrill on mimicking bones while he worried for her, but he couldn't stifle a smirk.

"Booth" she glared and then the pain hit her again; she clutched and curled her head nearer her knees.

Booth seethed at her pain and undid her seatbelt "c'mon lets find a loo"

"What! Booth, were in a traffic jam" she said following his figure around the car till he came to her side. He opened her door chauvinistically, smiling that smile.

"C'mon bones, I can't have you doing your business in my car"

She crossed her arm refusing to move "This isn't actually yours"

"Tamata tomata, hurry bones, we need to get back before the traffic moves"

"I've done my calculations and it will take us twenty eight minuets to move eleven feet"

"See loads of time to find somewhere and do your stuff" he said physically pulling her from her seat "I saw one of those travelling vans with a kitchen, bedroom…" he nudged a waddling bones "and a toilet"

"Well that's very responsible of them, it's a shame you aren't as well prepared" she complained waddling between two cars behind booth.

"Wait, are you blaming me for this?"

"Well if you had a facility in the S.U.V we wouldn't be in this unpleasant situation" she danced to catch up with him.

"For one YOU'RE in this unpleasant situation and two, why didn't you say earlier?" he asked stopping in his tracks. Brennan didn't want to answer she was feeling irrational, she felt embarrassed to explain her well thought out actions. "Bones?" as if on queue, thunder cracked and rain poured heavily.

"Booth is that the transportable static home" she pointed to a white blur in front of her.

"Yeah, let's go before we get soaked" he said grabbing her fist that clenched the ends of her cardigan, cold with the shower and dodge around the cars quickly to their destination of the white blur.

Although they ran or in Brennan's case dragged the whole way, apart from the time when somebody opened his car door into booths leg, they were still not quick enough for the downpour. They slowed their pace when they reached the trailer door. Booth knocked and turned to his partner, he was about to make a comment on how great he was getting her a toilet, but that went out the window when he saw his partner. He'd noticed and appreciated first thing in the morning to see bones in a white, crisp dress, her long, sexy legs on show as well as the plunging neck line which unfortunately had distracted more than just him at charlotte field. He practically had to pull her out. He kept his eyes away from her chest despite strong urges, but he wasn't that strong. The rain had made the white crisp see through and a heavy glimpse of her pale blue bra appeared along with her snowflake tan skin. He tried to focus on her face, which was looking unbelievably cute. Her sopping wet hair in a gentle mess, and her eyes wider than normal against her cold face. "Booth what if they say no"

"Bones I'm FBI, they won't say no" he charm smiled. The door swung open to see an old podgy woman "excuse me but what on earth"

"Hi FBI" he flashed his badge and the women's face went cold "my partner here is in need your facilities" He introduced Brennan, and looked around the trailer to see a lot of Christian signs, crucifix, rosary. Brennan's cardigan was quickly rapped across anything offending "if you don't mind bones will be in there for a while" he swiftly pushed a waddling Brennan to the toilet.

Before she was squashed away, she had to be polite. "Thank you so much, I've noticed you are a devote Christian through the rosary on your table, you can thank your mythical god for me if you like. Booths also Christian, he likes to do that kind of thing" she said before jumping into the tiny cubical leaving a very uncomfortable booth with an angry lady. He decided to make polite conversation, "mm what's that smell, smells like apple pie"

"It's the dog's food" she spat.

"I am Christian, catholic to be precise, church every week" he tried to compensate for bones foot and mouth disease. She just huffed.

"WHO THE BLOODY HELL HAS LEFT THEIR CAR! FRIGGIN CAR" the old voice made both booth and bones, which was on the toilet seat at the time, jump.

"Language Tony" the podgy women

"WELL SOME IDIOT IN HIS PONCY S.U.V HAS BLOCKED THE ROAD! JUST AS THE TRAFFIC MOVED"

Booth gulped "damn" he knocked bones "bones we got to go were holding up traffic" he whispered

Bones-"just a minuet" There was a flushing sound and she appeared out the bathroom.

* * *

He pulled her out the trailer "I can't believe you insulted god in front of her, its bad enough when you do it to me"

Brennan took her hand away from his grasp "booth calm down, why you are in such a rush and why is everyone beeping their horn so aggressively?"

"That reminds me, your calculations were completely wrong"

"What calculations"

"Twenty minuets for eleven feet"

"I didn't say feet I said eleven miles and it only been seven minuets, twenty one minuets spare" she smiled proud

"No you DEFFINUETLY said feet"

"Well I'm sorry but my bladder must have been at my first priority, by the way have you noticed the relief after being released of the pain from refused urination for a long period of time"

Booth sighed "I'm going to count to ten and calm down"

"Well my bladder is not under pressure anymore so I could manage that if you want"

"Let's just go" he started to walk in great speed with Brennan in toe to the S.U.V, he then stopped in his tracks.

"Booth you stopped why?"

"He called it poncy"

"You're making no sense" she folded her arm

"Stay here bones Ill be right back"

"What booth!" she called after him but he was gone.

He made it to the trailer and knocked on the driver's seat this time. The burley man driving grumbled at booth and put the window down. "What?!" he blew into booths face. And then he smelt it "whoa, okay pal, FBI" he flashed his badge "smoking cannabis on its own is a wrong doer, but driving as well" he shook his head, suddenly feeling a lot better.

They handed Mr and Mrs Lyons in at North Carolina. And ended up staying in the hotel originally booked for them, they saw no point getting back to DC it was nearly ten o'clock. They enjoyed a small meal at the hotel restaurant and then booth announced she should join him for drinks and company in his room, but Brennan had a bigger and better room as per-usual and they used that one for there later night chats instead.

Her glass of wine was swirling in her hand as looked at the horizon that was her balcony. "Now this is just unfair, I didn't get a balcony or complementary shower gel" he laughed joining her leaning against the wall drinking a beer while she leaned over the railings.

"And complimentary tampons" she noted, smiling as booth silently squirmed.

"Yeah, id be insulted if I got those" he laughed nervously talking about lady things. They soon ended up in a comfortable silence when booth brought up "today was eventful hey bones" It wasnt really but it seemed appropriate conversation

"yeah, just think if I hadn't held in the urnia…" she sighed as booth pulled his face "if I hadn't held in my lavatory needs that driver could have caused a serious accident"

"Yeah you did good bones" he held his glass to her and took a large sip "so err… bones" he spoke moving over to lean over the railings with her "why didn't you just say you needed to go". She blushed, why she asked herself, it's not embarrassing, she was considering booth that was all. "Are you blushing temperance" he teased

"No" she snapped

"You sure" he asked containing his giggles while she hid her face with her hair; booth looked at her and didn't like it. She should never hide her face ever. He slowly took his hand and placed her hair away from her face. Surprisingly she didn't push him away.

His gentle finger tips touched her face and her hairs stood on edge. The sensation took over and she blurted "I didn't want to upset you"

Booth winces his eyes, "how could you upset me?"

"Well you know" she played with her glass of wine "I would be complaining like a ... You know"

"Like a child" he said finishing it for her, still playing with her hair "bones you'd been sat there for almost four hours I would have forgiven you"

Brennan stood up properly at this point "but I don't want you to have to forgive me, I wanted to make your life just a bit more easy, that's all. you helped me find a toilet when i needed it, could i do the same?" booth stood up with her, they were stood inches apart "wouldn't you want that booth"

Booth shock his head and smiled "you don't realise do you bones" he seeped his brown eyes into Brennan's, lost in bliss. He gently placed his hands on the her waist "you do that by doing things like this, trying and you just being you"

Brennan felt herself being pulled into booth and she couldn't stop herself "I … admire you, a lot" she said taking the tiny step forward as they touched chest to chest. He stared at her lips as she glanced at his. He applied soft pressure on her back as she clutched to his shirt.

Booth was going to shoot whoever called him, it broke the magic as Brennan stepped away and he begrudgingly took the call. It was Cullen; maybe booth would just pretend to shoot him. "Sir" he sighed

"Agent booth, I heard what happened, you work for DC you're a homicide investigator, I don't need my best team skipping of to play traffic cops" booth rolled his eyes and sighed turning away from Brennan to have a telling off.

Brennan studied booth, he was getting stressed, she wanted to do something to help him, and she needed too. "Booth" she poked him "Booth"

Booth turned around to acknowledge Brennan's persistence but was back lashed with a pounce from Brennan. It was a short but passionate kiss, it took booth by surprise and his phone ended up in a bush four floors down "Bones?"

"Booth I, well you were getting stressed and I absolutely can not tolerate it, even though I inflict it on you myself and…" she caught her breath and took slow paces to say what she said next "I suppose I care for you intently" she trembled, not crying but breathing heavily, her chest heaving. Booth didn't have any trouble pretending to ignore her chest that night.

**Please Read and Review, I apologise if you didnt enjoy this but there are never refunds for those minuets you spent reading x**


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